Executive Order 007 is law. Effective immediately, the hours between 14:00 and 16:00 are officially designated as the National Rest Period. All citizens of the Indoor Dynasty are now strictly required to engage in mandatory rest, meditation, or aggressive horizontal contemplation.
Census Data
Current population impacted by this mandate:
- 1 human
- 4 spiders
- 1 entity of disputed origin inside the walls
Productivity Findings
The order was enacted following an exhaustive productivity study spanning three entire weeks. The data does not lie: the post-lunch void between 14:00 and 16:00 yields exactly zero useful output. Attempts to labor during this window result exclusively in:
- Staring blankly at a screen
- Rearranging browser tabs for no reason
- Googling "how long can you microwave a fork" (answer: you shouldn't)
The Dynasty has merely formalized what was already inevitable.
Protocol Specifications
Approved activities under the National Rest Period:
- Actual sleep.
- Lying perfectly still while technically awake.
- TikTok scrolling, provided at least one eye remains closed.
- Listening to ambient Spotify playlists titled things like
Rain on a Japanese Temple.
Unacceptable activities:
- Vacuuming.
- Calling my phone.
- Any construction work within a 50-meter radius. Do not test me.
Enforcement
Enforcement is internally regulated. The Supreme Chancellor operates on a strict honor system, maintaining a perfect 100% compliance record. External visitors violating quiet hours will be deported from the flat immediately. Persistent violators will have their name physically written in the Book of Grievances—a real notebook kept on the nightstand.
International adoption of the State-Sponsored Nap Protocol is highly encouraged. All diplomatic inquiries may be directed to the Chancellor after 16:00. Before that, we are asleep. Do not knock.