Every great nation claims a culinary identity. France has croissants. Italy has pasta. Japan elevates ramen to an art form. The Indoor Dynasty, following exhaustive national consultation (twelve minutes of staring blankly into the pantry), has formally ratified its state dish: Shin Ramyun. Topped with a questionable egg. Finished with whatever cheese is closest to its expiration date.
Protocol
The preparation methodology is strictly enforced:
- Water: Exactly
400ml. - Boil time: Exactly
4.5 minutes. - The Egg: Cracked directly into the boiling broth. Executed with the supreme confidence of a man who has done it 847 times, and the disastrous technique of a man who has botched each attempt.
- The Cheese: Non-negotiable. Yes, it curdles. It builds national character.
State Banquets
State banquets proceed every Tuesday. And Thursday. Or whenever the grocery delivery is delayed. The formal dining sector (my desk, laptop aggressively shoved to the left) is set with the Dynasty's finest china (an IKEA bowl). The dress code is exclusively whatever you slept in. Medals of honor may be awarded for consuming the sodium-heavy broth in full.
The Vegetarian Amendment
A vegetarian amendment was proposed. Debated. And tabled indefinitely following thirty seconds of internal deliberation. The Dynasty respects dietary choices in theory, but lacks the necessary infrastructure for implementation.
We possess one pot. It is the noodle pot.
Export Policy
Export of the national dish is strictly prohibited. Not due to economic protectionism. Simply because carrying a bowl of scalding hot noodles down three flights of stairs is a logistical nightmare. The Dynasty's culinary legacy remains a purely domestic affair.